Random Question #38

What's one thing in life you regret the most?

Well, there's one thing in life i regret the most. This regret is for my grandfather. My grandfather lived in New York City for more than 10 years, he leaved China when i was very little, maybe i was 2 years old. And in 10 years of his life in NY, he didn't come back China, not even once. It is not he didn't want to, it is because the airplane ticket to China is too expensive for him. He didn't want to spend that much money on the airplane ticket so he always felt very bad homesick. He made himself looks very poor because he didn't want to spend money on himself and he saved money to send back to China to my mother, my aunt and my uncle. I don't have many memory about him but i still can remember some few things we did together, some places we played or some places we have lunch or dinner together. In my memory, he is a very nice old man who always have those brilliant smiles. He is nice to everyone he knew. He is such a nice man. But unfortunately, he got a very bad disease just before i moved to America. He became very ill. He missed us very much. He wanted to come back China. But he is too sick so his condition wasn't allow him to fly in the plane. He became more and more sick, worse and worse. He always hope us can move to America because he always thought America is a very good country for people to find a better job and children to have better educations and people can have a better life. So he always wished us could move here and live here and he kept waiting and waiting a very long time for us even the last second of his life. Until the day i was meeting the United States Consulate lady in China, i pass all their tests and their questions, i was sure that i got the United States Consulate's permission to move here, i was sure i can move here very soon and meet my family in New York. I was very surprise and happy and can not wait to shared this big surprise news to my grandparents in America, but my grandpa died, he died just before we got the permission from the United States Consulate. That's all i heard about from the other end of the phone. He died, he really died? Are they just kidding or playing? It is not funny, not funny at all! Please don't tell me that, please don't. Please tell me this is not the truth, please. But then my mind and brain was become clear when i heard my mom cried very loud, when i heard my grandma's very sad crying from the other end of the phone, when all of us cried, became quiet, nobody speak up, all of us put our heads down and we all lost our brilliant smiles like they disappear all in a sudden, you would never find them, they were stand very very far away from you. And your world seems like suddenly the sun disappear and no more sunshine, only darkness. I can't see him for the last time. Also he can't see us the last time. But do you know how much he wanted to see us? After i just moved here, my aunt told us several times about my grandpa. My grandpa missed us very much even his last second of his life, when he almost die, he asked my aunt, ''Do they get the permission to move here?'', he asked my aunt struggle but his eyes were very hopeful. My aunt shouted and answer him very loud. But unfortunately, he died before he could hear a word. When the moment my aunt answered him loudly, he died. And my aunt wasn't sure whether he heard her answer or not. I think he had so much pain, he tried to insist for waiting for us but eventually he can't take it anymore. I feel very regret because i can't see him, not even the last time. If we move here earlier, things will be change.